New Determination

The past few weeks have been pretty rough. There has been some fantastic blessings in these weeks, and there have been some tough trials. It's been physically and mentally draining. I haven't been exercising like I had been doing due to the moving and such. And I haven't been eating like I had been either. Crap started sneaking its way back into my diet. And now I think I have a sinus infection. Yeah. But I am determined to get my life back on track. I tracked my food and stayed under my calorie goal for yesterday. I will go to the gym today, even if it kills me. David wouldn't let me go yesterday since I had a fever. I kinda feel like I still have a fever, but I am determined to get some kind of workout in. I'm chugging water like a mad woman. So, doing pretty good. I am determined to be the person I want to be both physically and mentally. That is going to take a lot of hard work, some sacrifice, and lots of support. I miss the way I felt when I was going to the gym daily. Good grief, before working out, did I always feel this tired and sluggish? If so, no wonder I never wanted to get off my butt and do something! But Butt, I am here to tell you, you are about to get worked off!

I'm so over it

By it, I mean drama and people in general. So called friends stab you in the back, and throw you under the bus. Some even don't call you for an entire YEAR! And I'm over it. I will miss these people, and it saddens me, but I've come to the conclusion that sometimes it is just best to be free of people like that. It's hard not to feel lonely sometimes, but would I rather be lonely, or would I rather be caught up in the Drama Llama group? Hmm, is there a third option? Yes, I know I can make new friends. But it takes years to develop a friendship like those I am giving up. I've known some of these people for 18 years! Over half my life! There is history there. There is life, death, marriage and divorce tied up in those friendships. So, its like no matter which option I chose, I end up the loser. I'm a social person. I need girlfriends to confide it, and do things with, but my options either require me to go at it alone, or sacrifice sanity & deal with drama, and neither of those options is what I want.

Yes, I Know. It's Been 2+ Weeks.

But there are sooooo many reasons why it has been 2 weeks since I posted. One, things have been stupid at work. I love my job, but I have been trying to lay low, since it seems like I was getting blamed for everything that went wrong. Oh, let me go ahead and apologize for apologizing and also for the national debt. Two, we were living in a hotel/suite for 2 weeks. I'm grateful that we had somewhere to stay before we got the house, but let's just say that while it was clean and safe, it was tiny, and well, just not home. Third, I've been so tired lately for all the stated reasons, plus the fact that I've been eating horribly, due partly to the fact that crappy food is cheaper than good food. And the other reason I've been eating horrible, is that once I got off my routine, I guess my subconscious evil decided to have a free for all. Now, granted I don't think that I gained back a lot of weight, but it makes me feel like crap, I've started back on soda, and I miss the gym!!! And now add to the fact that I've pulled a muscle on the left side of my neck/shoulder/back. It hurts from my neck down to my shoulder blade, and even the back part of my rib cage. I'm freaking miserable. I can't hardly turn my neck or raise my shoulder or even turn. Ok, I'm through whining.

I'm so very grateful, thankful, and blessed to have moved into our house. It's an absolute blessing and gift from God. Here are a couple of pics from before we moved in.