Some people are such **********!!!!!!

Fill in the blank with whatever horrible, degrading, ugly word you can think of to describe the person I am thinking of. Seriously, why am I so aggravated? Because some person had the audacity to sign me up for a subscription of Babytalk, the magazine for new mothers. WTH??!! Are you freaking kidding me?! I've been battling infertility for almost 4 years, and some childish little snot has to be low and do this to me?! And I'm pretty sure that it sounds like something "M" would do. That's about up there with her immaturity level. But all I have to say is that what you give out will come back to you.

*Sigh*

Nothing mind blowing to update at the moment. Just a quick note to let folks know I haven't went MIA again. Things have just been a little hectic, and still are. I'm not updating at the moment, because I don't have the time today, plus, I feel like absolute dog crap. Seriously. If I didn't have to run some errands, my happy butt would be crashed on the bed right now. Does anyone have the license plate of the truck that ran me over?

Hanging in GA

For the past couple of days (since Friday), I've been visiting Mom in Georgia. David and I came over Friday afternoon for a much needed visit and break. There are all sorts of critters to play with, and lots of stuff to do, like fishing and riding horses. I partake of the fishing, but prefer to pet the horses instead of riding them, lol.

Here is David and baby Canadian goose :)

Enough!!!!

I am sicking and freaking tired of gossiping people!! It's to the point that I am so pissed off, that I want to be unleash some serious anger on folks!!! How old are you people? Seriously, you range in age from 20's-50's. Some of you claim to be good Christian folks. So, you'd think that you'd know to just keep your mouth shut. I understand that at times we are all guilty of gossiping. Even me. But this mess has gotten out of hand. Seriously out of hand. When it seems that you are more concerned with finding things wrong with me or my life, and more concerned with beating me down to try to make yourself look better, than your own life, then its time to realize that you might need some counseling.

According to Bible, life and death are in the tongue. (paraphrased from Proverbs 18:21) Since that's the case, who have you killed today?

How Do I??

How do I forgive someone and move on when they have wronged you so horribly? I know God tells me to do so, but its so hard! Do I tell them my feelings? Do I just vent it personally and not bother? I know I am supposed to turn it over to the Lord and He will take care of anyone who has wronged His children. What if its my Mother-in-Law? What if she has hurt me and David so badly that I want to drive my happy self to Mobile and confront her face to face? What if I'm sick and tired of seeing my husband upset because his own flesh and blood mother treats him like a second class citizen? What if I want to tell her that until she gets some counseling, I don't want her back in my house?

When David and I got married, I really wanted a mother-in-law that I could be close to, and would be like a second mom, or at least a good friend. Did I get that? Nope. I too get treated like I don't belong. Heck, our first Christmas together, I ended up in the guest bedroom at her house, crying my eyes out, because her, and all of her step children, wouldn't even speak to me. I wanted another family that I could be a part of since I didn't grow up with a big family, and most of the family on my father's side has already passed away. But David's mother doesn't make me feel like part of the family at all. Everything has to always be about her. If all 3 of us are in the same house, she has to make sure all the attention is focused on her. She is a pro at playing the damsel in distress bit. And she seriously needs mental help, because she has a shopping addiction. A serious shopping addiction. So bad that she offered to pay for our honeymoon, and on the day before our wedding tells us 'opps, sorry, I blew all of your honeymoon money on clothes'. :o Nice huh? Obviously I have a lot of built up anger. And I am trying to do the Christian thing and let it go. I am really trying. Trying so much that I haven't said anything, and its been almost 4 years that this mess has been going on. Do I continue to let it go?

Prayer Request

If you are reading this, I ask you to please say a quick prayer for me and David. I won't go into all the details right now, but suffice it to say that we need all the prayers we can get right now. We are in a very rough situation, and right only the grace of God will see us through. So, I ask you to please send up prayers to the Father on our behalf. Thanks friends. Love y'all.

What If?

What If??

What if 'my time' never comes?
What if I wasn't meant to be a Mom?
What if my only children are furbabies?
What if I can't ever have that question answered?
What if my womb stays forever empty, never to be filled with life?
What if I never have the blessed experience of bringing one of God's miracles into this world?

What if I have missed my chance to be a Mom from conception to adulthood?
What if I never have to clear off the front of my fridge of all the drawings my children have done?
What if I break down in the middle of Target baby section? Again.
What if I become some embittered that I completely lose myself?
What if my desire becomes my demon?
What if my desire is my downfall?

What if my Mom never gets to see her grandchildren?
What if my husband never gets to look into the eyes of our newborn child?
What if I can't teach my little girl how to cook "like Granny taught me"?
What if my husband never gets to show our kids the firetrucks he risks his life using?
What if we never have a family picture of us and the kids at the beach or the lake?
What if we have no one to teach our hobbies?
What if my brother never becomes an uncle, and my sisters never aunts?

What if God doesn't give me the answers?
What if my 'what ifs' come true?



Thank you Tasjaana Lee for inspiring me to put this down on 'paper'.

*To learn more about Project If click here.

Possibilities

Things are pretty much the same as they have been for a while now. But we do have a wonderful blessing and prospect on the horizon. David may be changing jobs. He loves his job working on fire trucks, especially since he is a firefighter also, but is willing to change jobs if the one he was recently presented works out. We should know in about a week, but praying that God makes it all work out for the best for us. This job would be a complete and absolute Godsend. Basically, David's salary would double. Yes, actually double! :o And with the overtime potential, it could even more than double! I know happiness isn't based on money. I've been miserable with money, and happy without money. But money can provide a certain release. Release from not having to worry if the power bill is going to get paid, or if you are going to have more than 20 bucks a week to buy groceries, and stuff like that. God has provided for us during these rough times. We have not went hungry, and through God's grace the bills have pretty much gotten paid. Some bills, like student loan payments, have had to fall to the wayside, but oh well. But with this new job we would be able to pay all our bills, start paying the student loan payments, start tithing the way that we should be able to, and even have enough left over to give to special projects and put money back for savings. So, if you are reading this, please pray for us. Pray that David gets this job and that it is all that he was promised.